Is virtual betrayal a thing? Hell! Yes it is! The actions you take online, if discovered by your partner will cause major upset. Please know that talking in chat rooms or digitally dating someone whilst in a real life relationship will most certainly not be welcomed by your real life partner. At this point, even if there hasn't been any physical contact, it still constitutes an emotional betrayal. Your loyalties lie elsewhere.
If this is happening for you. Book an appointment becuase your needs that are not being met in your relationship are now filtering out to the digital world to get met. This means you are stepping out of the couple bubble and rupturing your relationship in the physical world. If you cannot get your needs met in the physical world with your real life partner, then the question to be asked is: WHY?
This is where couples counselling comes in. Sometimes these are 'hard-to-have' conversations, and they are best facilitated by an therapist who can help you navigate some of the tricky spots - especially when you think you cannot approach your partner on the topic.
Where there is one, there is always the other
It takes real courage to turn the light back in on yourself, and get clear about what it is you need to do in your relationship, especially when it gets to the point of using terms like narcissist. So here is the difficult bit to swallow with 'where there is one, there is always the other.'
If your partner calls you a narcissist, then sure as nuts, there are also times when they are also narcissistic or vice versa. I know, it sucks to realise that it is also possible that you yourself may have a part to play in the creation of your partner's behaviour. These are the blindspots, and because our pain prevents us from seeing reality in a 360 degree view, it does take a professional counsellor to help you navigate this in terms of what is real and what is not. Its not always something you can see yourself or call you or your partner out on either. If you do see it, then how to remedy it is where I come in. I show you how to navigate this area with communication, challenging our thoughts and looking at the family system to see what is the story that needs to be told.
All said and done, its can be a joy to keep exploring your relationship for the gifts it brings, the good and the bad. If it brings you to a exploratory journey around the power of labels, and how they should be used or not used, then we could agree that your partner is your best teacher.
I am passionate about being the catalyst for change for the better, supporting the greater good to create causes and conditions to benefit everyone down the track.
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