Relationship Therapy - Love, Sex and Relationships

Love, Sex and Relationships

Relationships are tricky most of the time. They can be on one of three states - functioning, breaking or broken. Counselling can proactively help you improve relationships that seem flat, uninspired or dull, and when things go awry, counselling can also help with helping re-establish happy, healthy and functional relationships. Please don't wait until things are at crisis point - book an appointment to work on your relationship or if you are not sure, book in for a free 15 minute consult via telephone.

If we are not mindful of our relationships, break-ups and conflict can seem to come out of nowhere. My approach is to address it from a needs perspective couched within the Gottman evidence-based approach and along with aspects of Stan Tatkin's PACT approach. When needs are not satisfied, there is a human tendency to look elsewhere. We are all works-in-progress, and no-one does relationships perfectly, myself included!  

Relationships that may need a 'tune-up' experience the warning signs: 

• your interactions with your partner feel draining, may include constant arguments or niggles.
• you feel fatigued, resentful, dissatisfied or unhappy.
• you don't feel like having sex as often or it isn't what it used to be (after the initial phase of meeting).
• one of you spends increasing time on social activities and interests outside the relationship.
• you feel fatigued, possibly entertain the thought of escape, plan your life without the other, or have suicidal thoughts if you feel trapped.
• either or both of you have an addiction problem affecting the relationship.
• there has been a virtual or real life physical betrayal. 
• you have both got too 'busy' to tend to the relationship garden, and things have spun out of control.

If you experience some of these signs in your relationship, consider what you can do to look at the problem, if you want your relationship to get better or survive. There is always hope and there is always help. I work with individuals (personal relationship counselling) and couples (couples counselling). Make an appointment today.

Rekindle Your Marriage or Partnership with Relationship Therapy

Relationship therapy isn’t just for marriages on the brink of divorce, or relationships on the rocks. While there is sometimes a stigma around seeking help from a relationship therapist—as if asking for assistance and guidance is tantamount to admitting that your relationship isn’t ‘strong enough’ to weather the hard times. The truth of the matter is that most couples can benefit from counselling, and we are all a work in progress . Relationships break apart in different ways, from infidelity and betrayal to the simple loss of spark. As a relationship therapist, I seek to understand the specific challenges or difficulties a couple is facing and to adjust my approach to work with couples to find their way back to where they would like to be. For some this could be a respectful, fulfilling and inclusive functional relationship with lots of intimacy, for others this could be helping each other to separate in love, or just create space to re-evaluate the couple’s emotional contract and negotiate new changes.

Signs You Should Invest in Relationship Therapy

One of the things I like to tell clients who come to me seeking relationship conflict resolution is that, ultimately, relationships can fall into one of three states. The state we all want our relationships to exist in forever is ‘functioning.’ The state we never want to reach is ‘broken.’ Yet so many of the couples I work with find themselves in the in-between state: ‘breaking.’ 

Sometimes, couples don’t realise that their relationships have exited the functional state until some real damage has occurred, it is more urgent than ever before to find the track back to trust, love, and effective partnership. Knowing how to spot the early signs of a fraying relationship can make it easier to get back to functional—and can help forge a stronger relationship in the long run. Its never too late. 

Here are some signs that you should perhaps consider sitting down with a therapist for in-person or online relationship counselling:

• You and your partner are having communication problems. It can feel like your partner is speaking a different language to you, yet you are both saying the same thing! Sometimes, both partners might feel unhappy but do not know how to express those feelings. Feelings of fatigue, resentment or dissatisfaction might all be signs of trouble here, as may arguments that never seem to resolve anything. Working with a relationship counsellor is one of the best ways to rebuild some of those lines of communication so that you and your partner can work through your challenges and get in sync once more.
• You and your partner are no longer connecting sexually. While sex isn’t everything in a relationship, it is one of the key components to creating a lingering feeling of closeness, intimacy, and connection between partners. It is common for relationships to begin with a passionate ‘honeymoon phase’ and then cool down slightly—at least on the sexual side of things. Still, it can be a sign that your relationship is in the breaking phase if you and your partner no longer have sex or feel like having sex regularly.
• You aren’t unhappy, but your happiness is mostly coming from outside the relationship. Sometimes, you can live a perfectly content life and still have a breaking or broken relationship. In a functional relationship, each partner should be getting a significant percentage of their happiness and fulfilment from the other person: from quality time together, sexual intimacy, strong communication and the support system that functional relationships ought to provide. When either partner may increasingly look outside the partnership for these things, this is a early warning signal. The obvious example here is an affair, but there can be less harmful examples too. For instance, if one or both partners devote much of their time to interests, hobbies or social activities, that can breed distance in the relationship. Working with an in-person or virtual relationship therapist can help you rediscover commonalities or shared experiences in your relationship, to rebuild connection.

Can't get there in person? Try out Virtual Relationship Therapy...
While most clients prefer in-person sessions, there are many benefits to virtual relationship therapy that are also worth considering, including:

• It is a safer option during a public health crisis. Many relationships have suffered this year as spouses or partners have been forced into near-constant close quarters by the COVID-19 pandemic. For some, this highly stressful time has created new relationship problems. For others, it has helped shine a light on issues that were likely always there but could be swept under the rug more when couples weren’t spending so much time together. Regardless, there remains a need for quality relationship counselling right now—something I am happy to provide through virtual relationship therapy.
• It allows for distance sessions. Say you move to a new town or a new part of the country but want to continue the work you were doing with your therapist. An online relationship counsellor can connect with you no matter where you are. I certainly have clients who have moved away but have continued to work with me on regular relationship therapy sessions.
• It is convenient. Being unable to find time for relationship counselling is one of the top excuses that couples make when deciding not to pursue it. With the availability of virtual counselling, that excuse is gone. You have a convenient way to access relationship therapy right from the comfort of your own home.

Why Nicolette Ward Counselling Is Cost-Effective

My rates are reasonable and industry-competitive, and even offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to prospective clients who want to learn more about how I work.

​Relationship counselling, in general, is a cost-effective option, especially for married couples where the alternative might be a costly divorce. Working to save a relationship is always more fulfilling than breakdown, and being left wondering about what might have been. So give me a call today and schedule your first online relationship therapy session. It’s the first step to a happier future.


​Back to Counselling Home

Book in for a free 15 minute consult via telephone or book an appointment (you can see my availability here too.)

• Abuse
• Affairs
• Exclusion 
• Change of life
• Family Demands
• Overwhelm
• Transitions - job, country
• Trauma
• Sexual Issues
• Trust Issues
• Gaslighting
• Stonewalling
• Narcissistic Behaviour

Book in for our special two hour training session
​Relationship Revamp
($125 per person
​for Two Hours)


​

Rekindle Your Marriage or Partnership with Relationship Therapy

Relationship therapy isn’t just for marriages on the brink of divorce, or relationships on the rocks. While there is sometimes a stigma around seeking help from a relationship therapist—as if asking for assistance and guidance is tantamount to admitting that your relationship isn’t ‘strong enough’ to weather the hard times. The truth of the matter is that most couples can benefit from counselling. Relationships break apart in different ways, from infidelity and betrayal to the simple loss of spark. As a relationship therapist, I seek to understand the specific challenges or difficulties a couple is facing and to adjust my approach to help those couples find their way back to a loving, respectful, fulfilling, and inclusive, functional relationship.

Read more

Signs You Should Invest in Relationship Therapy

One of the things I like to tell clients who come to me seeking relationship conflict resolution is that, ultimately, relationships can fall into one of three states. The state we all want our relationships to exist in forever is 'functioning.' The state we never want to reach is 'broken.' Yet so many of the couples I work with find themselves in the in-between state: 'breaking.'

Sometimes, couples don't realise that their relationships have exited the functional state until some real damage has occurred, which can mean a long journey back to trust, love, and effective partnership. Knowing how to spot the signs of a fraying relationship early can make it easier to get back to functional-and can help forge a stronger relationship in the long run.

Here are some signs that you should perhaps consider sitting down with a therapist for in-person or online relationship counselling:

• You and your partner are having communication problems. Communication is at the core of every functional relationship. A relationship is a bond that should meet the needs of both partners. If it isn't, lapses in communication are often the reason. Sometimes, poor communication can result in one person being unhappy and the other being oblivious. Sometimes, both partners might feel unhappy but not know how to express those feelings. Feelings of fatigue, resentment or dissatisfaction might all be signs of trouble here, as may arguments that never seem to resolve anything. Working with a relationship counsellor is one of the best ways to rebuild some of those lines of communication so that you and your partner can work through your challenges and get in sync once more.
• You and your partner are no longer connecting sexually. While sex isn't everything in a relationship, it is one of the key components to creating a lingering feeling of closeness, intimacy, and connection between partners. It is common for relationships to begin with a passionate 'honeymoon phase' and then cool down slightly-at least on the sexual side of things. Still, it can be a sign that your relationship is in the breaking phase if you and your partner no longer have sex or feel like having sex regularly.
• You aren't unhappy, but your happiness is mostly coming from outside the relationship. Sometimes, you can live a perfectly content life and still have a breaking or broken relationship. In a functional relationship, each partner should be getting a significant percentage of their happiness and fulfilment from the other person: from quality time together, sexual intimacy, strong communication and the support system that functional relationships ought to provide. When one or both partners increasingly look outside of the partnership for these things, that can be a sign of trouble. The obvious example here is an affair, but there can be less harmful examples too. For instance, if one or both partners devote much of their time to interests, hobbies or social activities, that can breed distance in the relationship. Working with an in-person or virtual relationship therapist can help you rediscover commonalities or shared experiences in your relationship, which can help rebuild that sense of connection.

The Benefits of Virtual Relationship Therapy

Lately, especially, we have been encouraging our clients to work with us through online relationship therapy. While some clients prefer in-person sessions, there are many benefits to virtual relationship therapy that are worth considering, including:

• It is a safer option during a public health crisis. Many relationships have suffered this year as spouses or partners have been forced into near-constant close quarters by the COVID-19 pandemic. For some, this highly stressful time has created new relationship problems. For others, it has helped shine a light on issues that were likely always there but could be swept under the rug more when couples weren't spending so much time together. Regardless, there remains a need for quality relationship counselling right now-something I am happy to provide through virtual relationship therapy.
• It allows for distance sessions. Say you move to a new town or a new part of the country but want to continue the work you were doing with your therapist. An online relationship counsellor can connect with you no matter where you are. I certainly have clients who have moved away but have continued to work with me on regular relationship therapy sessions.
• It is convenient. Being unable to find time for relationship counselling is one of the top excuses that couples make when deciding not to pursue it. With the availability of virtual counselling, that excuse is gone. You have a convenient way to access relationship therapy right from the comfort of your own home.

Why Nicolette Ward Counselling Is Cost-Effective

I get many questions about the cost of the work that I do with our clients. I believe my rates are reasonable and industry-competitive, and even offer a free 15-minute phone consultation to prospective clients who want to learn more about how I work. More than that, though, relationship counselling, in general, is a cost-effective option, especially for married couples where the alternative might be a costly divorce. Working to save a relationship is always more fulfilling than letting it break and being left wondering about what might have been. So give me a call today and schedule your first online relationship therapy session. It's the first step to a happier future.

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